i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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