Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
