i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
