So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm sobbing to NWA
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize