Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
