i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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