P.S. I can't hear my feet
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
