If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize