I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
