On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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