I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
