Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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