Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
