shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
