have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
