So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
