the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
