There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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