My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
