Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
