I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
