Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
