North Korea, Best Korea!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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