so let's talk penis.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize