I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
