Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
