Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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