If i come over, it means nothing
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I currently don't understand fingers.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
