Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
