I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
vagina is talking i cant
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I need moral support for this bender
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
