you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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