You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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