Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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