Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
