We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
