PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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