...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
