I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
How naked do you want me to be?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
