Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
