I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
