Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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