I didn't shave. On purpose
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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