I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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