just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
