I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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