i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize