What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize