did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
