Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
