No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize