woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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