spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
