This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize