Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
