From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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