Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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