To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
