How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
