Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I wish i was in the wii world.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
