my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
it's like heaven, but drunker
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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