Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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